childhood / daily life / Education / Uncategorized

A Wonderful World

It’s the time of the season that reminds me what a wonderful world it is. In both a happy and sad sort of way. This month last summer, I was helping my youngest child and only son head off to college. Loose in the wonderful world. It was hard. Tomorrow, I will watch this time from the front porch as he packs up his belongings and heads out again. I’m afraid that it will also be difficult, but hopefully not as much so as last year, when I was dumbstruck and wondering what happened to the little boy that I used to take to sign up for little league baseball. He’s still there, sometimes I see a glimmer of him. Something in the eyes, something in his sometimes confusion, something in his asking mom’s advice, something in the excitement to be free.

But every year, he gets a bit taller, a bit more confident, and I also see a glimmer of a polished young man, a young man who is ready to make his own way in this world. There’s still a bond that ties him home, but also an impulse, a yearning for adventure. The teenage boy defiance that once scorched our arguments is gone now. He has developed good habits, he is more orderly about picking up his things, about taking responsibility. Dare I admit it, but he has grown up. I wonder if there will ever be a time when I can watch him leave without tears welling up in my eyes, without that awful heaviness catching in the center of my throat, without that sinking in the pit of my stomach. I believe that time will come, but until then, I suppose that I’m not the only girl around who has had her heart broken by a cute college boy.

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28 thoughts on “A Wonderful World

  1. No, indeed. I already feel a bit like an empty nester now that my kids are more involved with their friends. I think they will probably go to college locally though. I’ll probably be chomping at the bit for them to move out.

  2. Lana, such a touching honest post at what I imagine many experience at that bittersweet moment. How true about being grown-up but still that occasional confusion, asking for help. I have three years until my son goes to university. Know I’ll be proud as heck, so excited for him but also miss him terribly – we are such good friends (his words even!) He’s already excited though as it should be. Virtual supportive hugs flying there way to you…time for a glass of wine and chocolate methinks!

  3. Golly, but this brings it all back (and my Domer has only been out of college three years!). When I recall the hectic move-in (and out!) days, the joy of watching him walk into his campus world — straight of back and head held up — my heart sings, as will yours. ‘Tis a grand thing indeed for parents to see they’ve done something right — here’s hoping your son, too, will one day “reward” you with a Thank You that will leave you weak in the knees! What a journey it is, this parenting gig!!

    • It is definitely a journey! Yes, I’m excited about his future. I really didn’t expect to be sad again this summer, and it wasn’t as hard as last one, but gee, I’m gonna still be sad a few days. Time flies though, and I’ll look up and he will be here for the holidays 🙂

  4. my daughter is going into fifth grade
    And I still lost it
    When I see how grown she is
    Children are suppose to drive you
    Up and down the wall
    It says in the manual
    Under product placement
    As always Sheldon

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