creative writing / humor / Poetry / Uncategorized

The Sprite on the Sill

There is a well known tiny elf

that we shall call a sprite

to avoid the little intracacies

known as copyright

This little brownie, I am told,

is quite the controversy

He takes up residence in your house

and reports what he does see

The precocious, self-important little gnome

crashes the party, takes over your home

He sits precisely on a ledge observing moments

when he has a story, to Santa then he vents

Telling tales on Cindy Lou, Bobby and

little Andy Dole

That mean, small gnome ruins Xmas eve

as they all get coal

The sprite’s actions have been much maligned

hanging out on that sill…

those threats and tattling touted now as bad

parenting skill

The gnome catches children in their weakest time

a little slip up there

like tattling, yelling, copying

and a small evil stare

All the while, he’s boss of the house

and he did replace

all the family framed photos

with his impish face!

He even caused a 911 call, an accident for fear

when a little girl knocked him down

thinking Xmas might disappear

He ran copies of his image from the

home computer one day

and stuck one right in the center of

granny’s Xmas tray

He dressed in Barbie’s clothing

missing a few moments on the sill

I thought about a candy infraction,

just a few to steal…

We aren’t talking Herself the Elf, but indeed

something more sinister

and if you’re asking me,

he’s one little mean mister

After the holidays, he will make haste to go

back to the Toy Shop in the great

Land of the Snow

Next year, it would be fine

if the Imp on the Ledge would pass us

and take up next door with the family Bore

and their doberman named Lazarus

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5 thoughts on “The Sprite on the Sill

  1. I found out about the girl who really called “9-1-1-” about the little sprite and wondered about her call. The operator used the girl’s name! Hmmm.
    Your little sprite is really bad, in my opinion. I don’t mind him trying out his feminine side, it is the tattling and black lump of coal that irks me, Lana. 🙂
    I bought a girl elf which is cute, gave to my Mom last Christmas and her mate or match is residing in my home. It is about the size of my Raggedy Ann and Andy.
    Happy memories of how we may have listened to warnings about Santa’s naughty list! 🙂

    • Oh yes, I have those memories of how I had better be good :)….ha ha. Yes my little sprite is a bit mean spirited. I think he picked on Barbie because she can be a bit vain at times, lol. I’m sure he would have pestered GI Joe if Joe was still around, which I don’t think he is. Some kids apparently take the Elf on the Shelf rather seriously, but unfortunately not any of the ones that I have been teaching, ha ha. I like that you and your mom share matching elves! I wanted to find one myself, but didn’t manage to do it this year. Here’s to staying off the naughty list … 🙂

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