It has been quite some time now since I have harped on crazy criminals. Sadly, there are many still loose among us. I have a few stories to prove this rather unpleasant fact. In local news recently, a man who was apparently suffering from substance overload broke into another man’s house while the homeowner was sleeping, causing the homeowner to wake up terrified and unhappy. This is completely understandable. The burglar then held the no-longer-sleepy-homeowner hostage all night.
The next day, he made the homeowner take his valuables outside into the back yard. During this fun and engaging process, the hostage-taking burglar grabbed a gun and began shooting it into the air screaming that he was at war with supernatural dark powers. This immediately caused the freaked-out homeowner to disregard the gaping jaws of his neighbor’s two pit bulls and jump over into the other yard in hopes of finding someone with a phone. Luckily for him, he did find a person with a phone that wasn’t a teenager because if all he found were teenagers, they would never have gotten off their phones long enough to call the police. Police arrived and they were able to assist the crazed burglar with his personal struggle against the dark forces by firmly placing him into a secure jail cell.
Now while the first episode could be adequately labelled bizarre, there is another one that might actually top that. This crazy burglary incident involved two neighbors. One neighbor dude broke into the other neighbor’s house when they were at work. I don’t know why the crazy-neighbor-who-breaks-into-other-people’s-houses wasn’t at work, perhaps this was the reason he felt he needed to pursue this option. So this guy breaks into his neighbor’s house and takes some valuable items. Then for some unknown reason, when the newly burglarized victims arrive home to discover that things are amiss, who should come running You-whooing through the back gate? Of course, none other than crazy neighbor next door who tells them, and I’m not kidding:
“Hey! I think someone broke in your house, and guess what? They broke in my house too, and they put your stuff all in my house!”
“Unh? Let’s get this straight, burglars broke in, took our stuff then put it in your house? Dorothy call the cops!”
“No, no, no need to call the cops, you can just come over and get your stuff, I don’t know why they did it!”
Then pretty much the same scenario happened, the police show up, arrest the crazy neighbor who steals things then runs outside with some weird story and take him away. The trouble is that someday, he will return….I would like to say that these two stories are the weird fiction that presents itself from the recesses of my mind, but no, they are factual occurrences. Don’t forget to lock up when you leave.