death / friendships / grief

Farewell to a Friend

August is one of my favorite months in all its scorching glory, but this past month hung heavy like drapes of sadness overlapping memories. The first thing I had to cope with was my son growing up overnight and heading out into that big, monstrous world to compete with all those other young idealists, or maybe we could just call it “going to college,” nevertheless, a big step.

On the last day of this very emotional month, I received news of the death of a childhood friend. Like any bombshell that falls out of the sky on a regular Monday, news like that can rattle a person to their core. It’s at once upsetting and unbelievable. I think back to the last time I saw her and the last time she messaged me to call, and I didn’t take the time. Why must we always be so busy? So busy that we don’t have time for things that really matter like a great friend? A friend that might need someone to talk to, maybe a small gesture that might mean so much to someone.

Life is tough in general, even tougher for some people. Everyone has different challenges. Everyone makes mistakes. As we become older, we realize that perhaps the best feelings that fill a heart come from helping people and making this big circle of life connect to support each other.

With a heavy heart, I will say goodbye to my friend. I believe that her suffering has ended here. I believe that we go on. I will grieve for her family, her only daughter, and her little dog she left behind. I will bemoan, for a long time, not making the time to visit with her, to listen, to maybe help her sort out some of the future based on our kinship of the past.

So go now, dear girl

into that light

the day has mellowed

around you now

this bounded joy

endless dreams unfold

no more burdens, worries

or heartache

just stars

without limits

and love

without boundaries

a perfect lasting peace

calmness and serenity

and as you look down

and see me muddling

through this life

know how much

I love and miss you

and valued your friendship

Someday on that

distant shore

in an unknown place

a perfect retreat

I hope to see you

smile at me

like it’s 1979 again

and maybe

we will laugh and sing

and drive your green Vega

in a city beyond

into another realm…

heaven-740392_1280

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31 thoughts on “Farewell to a Friend

  1. It’s so sad you hadn’t managed to see your friend for so long, but this happens so often as life’s demands take up so much time. I’m sure she would understand that. Your beautiful poem is a wonderful tribute to her.

  2. So sorry for your loss. This was a touching poem in her honour and a reminder to us all to stop and take that extra moment to connect. However we all live life thus and I am sure she would understand. Life is so fleeting and a sudden wrench of a good friend from this precious earth only reinforces this fact. Take care of yourself, ride with the days and don’t expect too much for a while. Grief is all consuming. Warmest wishes.

  3. A very touching farewell. Grief strikes us all in different ways and at differing times. It is important that we rise above its torment with positive thoughts about those whom we have lost. I’m certain that is a philosophy you have adopted.

  4. Oh Lana! I missed this beautiful and sad tribute and poem to a long time childhood friend.
    We need to call, stay in touch, but even in blogging I feel great sadness that you wrote this last fall, end of summer, and I did nor say a word nor see it. . .
    In my defense. No defense is truly enough.
    All I can say is my summers are long, hot days. I worked 54 hours this week and 50 last. No air-conditioning just fans moving hot air from one area to another. This is my 8th summer there.
    I am sorry to learn in 2016, I heard about a dear friend of yours who passed away in 2015. 😦 ❤

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