Sometimes I write about other things than sharks and dentists. Today’s subject: neighbors. I have a bit of a beef that involves my new ones (I know, that never happens, right?) Here’s the deal, they moved in about a week and a half ago, and their grass is becoming exceedingly tall. Which was never a problem for like five years here, but then bingo, a bunch of rain and everything is growing like a rain forest. I mean, do I need to go over: “Hello, it’s time to mow!” If I have to come home everyday looking like Alice Cooper in this Texas heat, well the way I see it, everybody else in this “big, ole state” needs to get out there with me and enjoy this summer weather. Do I enjoy going out and pulling those little fern-like weeds away from the lantana? No. Would I rather be having a chocolate yogurt somewhere in an air-conditioned place? Yes. Wouldn’t I even more prefer to be picking up my huge lottery winnings instead of sweating like a banshee (whatever that is…) Of course! So I was going to do my duty as a government employee and report them. Then someone tells me I’m a: S. N. I. T. C. H. Well I guess that’s better than being anything that rhymes with it. That’s not quite true. I’m like Nellie Olson, but without the stellar grades, I’m like Jan Brady who is fed up with Marsha. I’m like an English teacher who is obsessed with punctuation, but not concerned enough to look up the past tense of feed to see if it is really fed, or if I’m actually talking about a Fed who would most likely be a snitch, but I digress… Going back to the issue, why does the neighbors’ grass bother me:
- It looks bad.
- There are bugs there, and since this is Texas, probably slithering things too.
- I have to mow (poor, poor pitiful me; sing it, Linda!)
- I don’t like it – – slackers!
Snitch, that word just soulds so hatefully nerdy. I have to ask myself, would Susan Sarandon snitch someone out? No, but Kanye probably would…. “Ladies and Gentleman, the Yard of the Week should go to…Beyonce…yes you heard me, Taylor!”
Why am I rambling? It must be the heat. The good news is: I’n not mowing today, but then neither are the neighbors, LOL. Hey, but if I do “snitch” they do not immediately get a ticket. The get 7 more days, yep, count ’em….for that place to become even more dense. Welcome to the jungle, baby!