humor / Lifestyle

To Snitch or Not To Snitch, That is the Question

Sometimes I write about other things than sharks and dentists. Today’s subject: neighbors. I have a bit of a beef that involves my new ones (I know, that never happens, right?) Here’s the deal, they moved in about a week and a half ago, and their grass is becoming exceedingly tall. Which was never a problem for like five years here, but then bingo, a bunch of rain and everything is growing like a rain forest. I mean, do I need to go over: “Hello, it’s time to mow!” If I have to come home everyday looking like Alice Cooper in this Texas heat, well the way I see it, everybody else in this “big, ole state” needs to get out there with me and enjoy this summer weather. Do I enjoy going out and pulling those little fern-like weeds away from the lantana? No. Would I rather be having a chocolate yogurt somewhere in an air-conditioned place? Yes. Wouldn’t I even more prefer to be picking up my huge lottery winnings instead of sweating like a banshee (whatever that is…) Of course! So I was going to do my duty as a government employee and report them. Then someone tells me I’m a: S. N. I. T. C. H. Well I guess that’s better than being anything that rhymes with it. That’s not quite true. I’m like Nellie Olson, but without the stellar grades, I’m like Jan Brady who is fed up with Marsha. I’m like an English teacher who is obsessed with punctuation, but not concerned enough to look up the past tense of feed to see if it is really fed, or if I’m actually talking about a Fed who would most likely be a snitch, but I digress… Going back to the issue, why does the neighbors’ grass bother me:

  1. It looks bad.
  2. There are bugs there, and since this is Texas, probably slithering things too.
  3. I have to mow (poor, poor pitiful me; sing it, Linda!)
  4. I don’t like it – – slackers!

Snitch, that word just soulds so hatefully nerdy. I have to ask myself, would Susan Sarandon snitch someone out? No, but Kanye probably would…. “Ladies and Gentleman, the Yard of the Week should go to…Beyonce…yes you heard me, Taylor!”

Why am I rambling? It must be the heat. The good news is: I’n not mowing today, but then neither are the neighbors, LOL. Hey, but if I do “snitch” they do not immediately get a ticket. The get 7 more days, yep, count ’em….for that place to become even more dense. Welcome to the jungle, baby!

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14 thoughts on “To Snitch or Not To Snitch, That is the Question

  1. If your community has a maintenance standard for yards and homes then they might get a citation. Now if it doesn’t then you need to do something. It can be a safety hazard. The yard needs to be taken care of.

  2. *I* for one would love if Alice Cooper would mow my lawn for me. 😀 My neighbor is the same way. He waits until it’s too tall, then he cuts it, then he doesn’t rake it. Just a peach of a landscaper he is!

  3. Ha! I’ve been on both sides of this fence…literally!! I have problems with a lot of my inconsiderate neighbors…yet when we owned our own house we let our garden go to seed (what’s up with the word play today??) and had a neighbor come over and tell me we were ruining the neighborhood. Did we hate him for it? Yes! Did we know he was right? Yes!

      • Yeah, you know, the condition the garden was in, we really needed a major change and we really couldn’t afford it, nor did we want to make it a big priority. We did end up getting someone in for some minimal landscaping, but I really don’t think it ever ended up looking really good!

  4. That’s a tough question. Ultimately you have to live with yourself and that’s more important than living next to an overgrown neighbor. Do what you’re insides dictate and you feel comfortable with. I’m not suggesting either is the way to go. UNLESSA the overgrowth is a fire hazzard where you live and/or could end up hurting someone. Good luck with this dilemma.

    • Yes that is a good way of looking at it. We do, however, have a rather diligent Code Enforcement office that will find them sooner or later. I guess my biggest gripe is: don’t rent a house if you don’t want a yard, rent an apartment instead. My two cents, thanks for your comment!

  5. I hate to say but I am in the bad neighbor column right now. I let the yard and the weeds get out of hand. I can hear my neighbors’ screams of horror. At least it will be dealt with Saturday. (Sigh)

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