humor / Lifestyle / Parenting

Dear Miss Reading Multi-Tasker

Dear Miss Multi-Tasker, like all happy writers, I understand you are quite the reader?

This is true, I was an especially voracious book lover when I was able to stay up past 9 PM.

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How is the tutoring going?

I enjoy bringing knowledge and fueling the literary passions of students, including teens who refer to Robert Frost as “That Dude Who…” Right now, I spend some quality time with a second grader, Adam, who enjoys the reading process so much that he asks such questions as:

“Is it reading time again? How long are you going to be here?”

“Do we have to read that? I already read it!”

“Why do we have to do this one?”

All the while, I am smiling as I try to help him read the hard words in his pamphlet book that he proceeds to turn upside down so as to thwart my attempts.

Thwart? Thanks, I have always wondered where to use that gem of a word!

No problem, you are welcome.

So you have a great mentoring relationship with young Adam, helping him to read and comprehend the magical texts of second grade?

Yes I do, plus I didn’t sell him out, and that should be noted. One day before the session began, Miss Smith, the Librarian came up as I had just selected a book that he didn’t want to read.

“I was wondering, is he giving you any trouble about not wanting to read?”

I paused, I looked down at Adam, and he looked up at me…sheepishly. I looked to the side, I looked to the other side. He shifted nervously and also looked side to side.

“Well some days Adam likes to read more than other days,” I said (in a neutral, positive tone.)

“Oh well okay, but you let me know if he doesn’t cooperate.”

“Sure thing,” I said.

Well it’s a good thing you didn’t sell the kid out.

Yes it is, I wasn’t about to be a Rat. I watch Mob Wives, and I know better than to be a snitch, besides, Big Ange might come after me….

So now it is spring, you are reading, frolicking in the wild flowers, and going to the dentist. Does that about cover it?

Well I am unable to frolic as much as I would like because I am too busy being part parent/part spy, working, and cooking all those healthy vegetables.

Are you happy with your new dentist?

No, now that you mention it, I am not. First of all, they presented me with a Treatment Plan which I believe is more of a Retirement Plan for the dentist. Secondly, I was not happy when the receptionist called me up as a mister, especially since I’ve spent a lot of time, effort and money living my life as a female person. I must also mention, they had NO quality reading materials in the lobby.

Well that’s humiliating! What’s the Rock Guy been up to?

He’s busy planning his summer shows, firing bass players, arguing with drummers…the usual. In his spare time, he walks around in his comfortable, but filled-with-holes rock t-shirts, and sulkily asks, “Do I need to change?” whenever we have somewhere to go. He knows the rule, if you have to ask, then most likely you know what the answer is.

Does he take constructive criticism well?

Ha ha ha! Oh sure he does, like most talented people..and sometimes he turns his stuff upside down too, just so I can’t read it.

No teenager news this week?

I hope not, but I have recently seen a small smidgen of human emotion from the subject, and I get a slight feeling that he may indeed miss me when he’s gone.

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