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Nineties Memos…Final

To: Frankly Frank

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From: The Watchdog

Re: More of the Same

Frank, to continue with our ongoing turmoil involving both the dust mites and the mystical air vents, there still have not been any major changes to date. I was beginning to worry that I was the only one able to see and converse with the dust mites, but then I saw one sitting back with Sylvester going over his “supply” list. They were locked in an impassioned discussion. No sooner had I turned my back, a midst loud shouts, I looked again and saw Sylvester throwing dictaphone tapes at Huxley, the main mite. Now I can’t say what caused this outburst from this otherwise calm, pleasant individual, but I might guess that Sylvester did not want to share his lunch with a greedy dust mite.

A group of dust mites had gathered in a discussion group in time to overhear a conversation that Paul and John were having:

Paul: And you know what John, I’ll tell you about one of the pitfalls of this country….

John: Only one this time and not twenty? What is it then?

Paul: It all began in the Reagan years….

John: No, it began in the sixties with the unthinkable loss the assassination costs us…

Paul: I’m telling you, the eighties are when the traitors came out…

John: No, the roots of it all…the turbulent era…

Two dust mites looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Three other mites hurried out of the room and jumped out of the nearest window.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Tonia was screaming at another mite about a missed court pick-up and Dan had locked Henry in the dolly closet for insubordination and for ripping a hole in his Superman cape. Paul then began to explain the finer points of fly fishing to John, who was busily categorizing his rap tape music collection for the weekend. Just then, I saw a group of dust mites playing cards on the duplicating machine as they pushed the buttons with their tiny tentacle toes while screaming PAPER JAM!

Lastly, and I don’t know if there is any cause for alarm yet, but I also observed a dust mite serving coffee in 19 Main Conference room. I’m not sure if the meeting attendees were aware that this was not a MDCK employee, but if they ever make that observation, we may have some OSHA concerns to address…

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