A Trip to the Monster Retail Store: Customer Service and Eggplant

Have you ever been in one of those situations where you just wanted to fall through the floor into a colorful world where you can just go about completely anonymous and not be judged by anyone? Such was the case with me just this week. I have cats,


and people who have cats know just how finicky they can be. It can actually be maddening, the degree these little feline monsters can go. Case in point: I recently tried a new cat litter made of corn husks or sawdust or something. It was completely “dust-less.” I was very happy. They weren’t.

I initially bought several bags. Then I got the message. So I went and bought a different one that was also “new.” The cats were joyous once again. We were living the good life watching tuna commercials. I was restocking and making a shopping list when I noticed one lonely unopened bag of the evil corn husk cat litter. I decided to bag it up and return it. Why not? That’s seven bucks I can use toward the new and feline-approved one.

So I toss the shopping bag containing the cat litter in my car and return to the Monster Retail Store. I set it up on the counter at customer service. The clerk smiled. I smiled back. I pulled the store bag down so the bar code was visible. The bag was wet. And sticky. It was….disgusting! Did I mention that the cats really DID NOT like this litter? I wanted to fall through the floor. I wanted to run. I was at a loss. The clerk reached out with the hand scanner. She said, “Ewwe….” I looked at the ceiling. I shuffled from one foot to the other. I had no idea.

I just love these embarrassing moments. I guess they keep us grounded. Now I’m sure that every time I go to the Monster Retail Store, I will probably run into the same cashier as luck will have it. This however; will not keep me from buying eggplant from the freezer section, already breaded, covered in tomato sauce and mozarella cheese. I was thinking that maybe there should be an Eggplant Parmigana Day. Why not have a happy food day where I could possibly forget about the stressful demands of raising picky felines who gleefully sabotage me when they get the chance? Happy shopping folks….


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