So there I am, standing in my kitchen in my pajamas, just out of the shower with wet hair, burning a chicken, like a frequently do when my 17-year-old bounces in with his new girlfriend.
“So like is the chicken ready?”
My love is busy snatching the smoke alarm battery from its compartment, so as to not alarm the neighbors with my ritual chicken burning.
“Umm,” I say. “It’s just almost ready.”
“Lexi, this is my mom…”
Lexi is a cute blonde, dressed in a neat sweater, boots and skinny jeans. Her hair is perfectly combed and shiny.
I smile wanly. My hair falls in perfect wet strands and my eyes are red from not enough sleep. I am stabbing at the burned bacon that was wrapped around the chicken and thinking it’s certainly a great night to meet the new girl.
“Give me a minute,” I say. I wanted to say that my chicken career maybe should become obsolete because earlier in the afternoon, my all-knowing young son had a discussion about: 1) college entrance exams 2) his exams in particular 3) how colleges take all high math science scores and are now ignoring English, reading and writing skills 4) colleges like talented football players 5) it’s just a miracle that English teachers even have jobs in the New Era 6) colleges also have hot girls and just how many hot girls are currently enrolled in Texas Tech University and 7) last, but not least, he gave me a review of the movie: Unbroken which was something like this:
“Yeah, so I went to see that war movie,” he said.
“Yeah, the one with the hero and the Japanese dudes. And so they had him in this war camp.”
“Yeah they found him and some homies on a raft… and anyway, this dude wasn’t gonna cave to their crap. The mean Japanese guy kept hitting him in the face. You know what I would do when I got outta there if it was me…”
“He got out?”
“Not at first, but those guard dudes changed, one came in, that one left, the Chill Guy was better to him….”
“Yeah, he was chill, not as bad…but then the guy left and then he went to another camp and guess who the guard was there…yeah that mean guy again…”
“You don’t say? And what else?’
“That was pretty much it..”
“Should I see it?”
“I don’t know…can I have six dollars for Taco Bell?”
Ok, ok, in the immortal words of Pink Floyd, maybe we “don’t need no education,” maybe my work here is done. Communication is overrated, but when you are out there, trying to understand someone, you may just need to Chill…..