Writing Critique Deconstructed

I was digging through my old writing folder the other day to review my older attempts at being interesting and erudite. Instead, I found this critique from a short story entry in 1993 (yes I know, before a lot of you were born 🙂 Anyway, I never got around to revising this story (like, totally) but maybe I shall try again. The judges generously imparted the following advice:


Stories are subjective to judges’ tastes and not your ability to write” (whew!)

Incorporating all the basic elements of short story writing doesn’t always

guarantee the final product will be acceptable.” (that’s right…!)

While many of the entries began well, they fell short along the line…” (story of my life..)

Another Side” is a Dorian Gray-like story (I was trying for The Yellow Wallpaper…but I have since renamed it: Pink is the New Poison)

As long as one cares for the azaleas, one remains healthy; neglect them, and you wither as they do. This connection; however, is rather encumbered by a slow plot; and the nightmares do not enhance or promote as well as they could….” (I have got to re-examine hellish nightmares….)

Characterization of Ron and Abigail tends to be stereotypical” (ok, I’ve got it…Abigail can become more like Kim Khardashian and Ron can become more like Bruce Jenner when he’s sporting the red nail polish!)

You might consider giving this story more life by changing from 1st person to 3rd person. This sort of story is difficult to write in an emotional way that involves the reader…” (Ron was bipolar and flung the shovel across the yard after he chipped his red nail polish attempting to free Abigail’s soul from the narcissistic azaleas…)

In first person an account is told rather than shown….” (I thought the rule was show not tell??)

Vivid fast paced description and narration would make this story shine, although I have to give a you a fair in every category: premise, plot, characterization, dialogue, originality and writing ability….Keep writing and I hope to hear from you in the future… (Hmmm, I thought it was a tired, overdone story….)

Actually since the eons ago that I wrote this, I am now inspired to take up the pen and make these revisions, let’s see how it goes! Take care everyone, and keep on writing, this proves it is never too late to revise that short story.


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