creative writing / fiction

Slap This Woman

A character that you might love to hate from my newest endeavor :


Lorraine Genoche was a Whispering Falls transplant. At first, she hated the idea of being stuck in a dusty, little town, having to live among people who didn’t own investments, it was, just so simple, and common. Lorraine could not come to terms with the word “common” because she was not. She was descended from a well known retail family, they had a history you understand, and people should know this. She put her Lexus in drive and headed down the street. You couldn’t beat a white Lexus. People had their preferences here, but Lorraine knew hers was best. Classy. Now from a distance you might mistake that Lexus emblem for a Toyota, but getting closer it becomes quite clear – they are an entire class apart. Although class was important, Lorraine knew how to use a gun. Do what you must do, and she took her gun and decided it was time to threaten to shoot some squatters that had camped out on her father-in-law’s property. Lorraine married for more money and she wasn’t about to let a bunch of white trash deadbeats lay claim to a property that was going to her husband as soon as the old man died, which was hopefully right around the corner. Really, why linger?

Lorraine recalled with a smirk, how entertaining these residents can be. The day she loaded her gun out, she ran into Grandpa Sloan’s neighbor, Debbie Watley. Debbie might have been ok, except that she spent some time as a college professor and was way too liberal for this dry, little town.

“Oh Lorraine, hello..what’s that you have there?” asked Debbie.

“Well Debbie, it’s a gun.” said Lorraine.

“Really, I see, you don’t….dove hunt…do you?” asked Debbie.

“No I don’t. We have some unwanted neighbors on the lower southwest corner,” said Lorraine.

Debbie’s eyes widened. “Really? What will you do?”

“Well Debbie, maybe if they won’t leave, I’ll just shoot them,” said Lorraine.

Edna Gaynor had seen the two women out and came to join the conversation. Lorraine cringed, Edna was a true native, conservative and superstitious.

“Were you speaking of the squatters?” she asked.

“Well Edna, yes I was,” said Lorraine curtly.

“You know that one old guy is strange,” said Edna. “He runs around half naked.”

“Disgusting,” said Lorraine making her most twisted face but simultaneously being careful not to cause any wrinkles.

“I think he might be a warlock too,” said Edna.

Here we go thought Lorraine…..


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