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Craigslist Opportunities

While most people are wasting time on Facebook, I have a different vice: Craigslist.
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There is so much there, it would take days to cover it. When I’m not busy placing ads for stuff that will never sell in my lifetime, I peruse other categories and have to admit being intrigued by the Employment section.

This is an easy way for folks to hop on board a lucrative opportunity. Such as in Guangdon China where they would like an English teacher – free accommodations, salary, and “free picking up at airport.” Say no more, throw in the airport thing and I’m there!

Another company wants to flaunt their international flair promoting word-wide commerce by announcing jobs for “Rooferos.” This word is made by using the old English word, or maybe middle English, or modern….”Roof” and cleverly adding OS to instantly transform this into fine Spanish grammar which makes all kinds of sense, just as does speaking English slowly or loudly to non-native speakers while they stare blankly and vow to make up jokes about you later.

And let’s not forget those old jewels from the classified columns and employment agencies that have found their way onto Craigslist, along with the correct hidden meanings of each entry:

self-starter – someone who can sit in a desk and use a phone system they have never seen before and answer detailed questions about things they know nothing about.

Works without close supervision – this means you will receive no help here – but contrary to the ad, they will be spy on you to watch you flounder.

Team player – they want a yes person, pretend like you like everybody and that everybody does their fair share….

detail -oriented – you like being bored to death, so much that you would do this job for free

problem –solver – you work for idiots and you must make them look good while they wallow in incompetence.

Big Thinkers Only – this is new, they have no idea what to do and you must bail them out for no credit.

Lastly, what about those Fortune 500 Companies that sound like royalty who are now suddenly looking for people with “no technical know-how”….in today’s world? Under a rock? Well if you happen to be one of those people who have never learned to program your DVR, you may have a shot at this – report in and give me the inside scoop. Happy Employment 🙂

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