2009 Celebrity Flashback

The next celebrities that I feel compelled to discuss during this time are Chris Brown and Rhianna…


Just who dares to rhymes with “witch slap” Rhianna? Scratch that, who dares to BITE Rhianna? I know Chris was up to, yes indeed he thought he could audition for a part in “Twilight” with that stunt. Let me break it down for you Chris boy, you are not cut out for a roll in the “Twilight” films.

At this rate, 2009 is shaping up to be a fascinating one in the celebrity world, and Britney is not even in the picture yet, in fact she’s still at the circus.

In other news, does anybody remember all those weirdos from high school? Like the ones that are now signing my Classmates guest book. You know the dudes. The guys who sat on the back row with their hair in their face who went all year long without having a conversation with anyone. The ones who were voted: Most Likely to Blow Something Up (okay so we didn’t have that category but we probably should have). Well I temporarily thought about sending them a message reminding them how strange they were then and probably are now, BUT then I remember that part about blowing things up and thought better of it. Plus the Internet makes it much easier to stalk people now so it probably wouldn’t be a good idea at all. I suggest if you encounter such people from your distant past, you just say something like this:

Oh hello Ted (Bundy?… oh no… silly me). So nice to see you again. Yes I remember. Those were really fun times. You were always so neat to talk to. I remember all those great talks we had. Did I mention that I have fourteen kids….yes count ‘em. This includes a set of screaming octuplets. Well gotta go, I’m packing up moving to Siberia where I will start my new job next Monday, after all gotta buy groceries for all those darn kids.”


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