Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who was especially skilled in coif design and couture. The pretty princess had crystal blue eyes and a precious, sensitive, good-hearted nature, and she had the bad misfortune to marry an evil pond scum sucking deadbeat toad. The scum toad wrecked her life mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially while also wrecking many cars. He proved to be an evil, worthless curse bound on a pill popping exodus of self-destruction.
One day, the precious princess had to move in with the pond scum’s evil relatives in a horrible horse grotto. The mother witch of the clan attempted to brainwash the pretty princess in an attempt to steal the princess’ most precious possession. This mother witch was a perfect example of a hyper hypocrite. She had many inappropriate relationships with men outside of her marriage. She was an unstable evil doer who had been married four times.
Her current cowboy counterpart even left his own children to hookup with mother witch. Yet, the hyper-strung willow witch tried to bluff her way as a proper example and role model by thumping her Bible and living a blasphemous life. She also had false meddling friends. Some of these friends had families almost as dysfunctional as the Horsewoman. In fact, one fine friend in particular suffered much in her own bipolar family especially with her pot-headed, alcoholic, suicidal daughter. Actually, one impartial observer thought the pond scum deadbeat and the pot-head daughter would be a match made in heaven and one the good mothers ought to pursue.
After numerous bad experiences, the pretty princess finally left the realm of the horse ghetto and moved away to Whispering Fawns where she discovered how badly her life was before and immediately set about rectifying and rebuilding. It was not difficult at all, and the pretty princess persevered and became strong and radiant with the help of her fairy godparents, and set about on the path of discovery. In essence she discovered how wonderful life is when one isn’t drained by imbeciles.
Meanwhile the fornicating swamp wench set about to find ways to extort funds from the princess. One day the exquisite fairy godmother shared the idea of further education with the pretty princess. So in a concentrated effort to study art, glory, history, and enlightenment, the pretty princess decided to leave behind her career as most exquisite hair designer and concentrate on obtaining a higher education. During this planned course of learning, the pretty princess would not earn a cent, and the evil swamp witch must look elsewhere for someone to supply horse feed for her clan of beasts. The one thing that the pretty princess will earn is life experience and the fine notion that there are many ways to skin a snake.